Mom Life. Nursing Student Life. What a life!!
“And our top student for the Practical Nursing class of 2021...Trina Ledford.” As I walked across the stage to receive the award at my practical nursing program graduation, my heart swelled with pride, but not because I was being recognized for my good grades. In that moment, as I looked out into the crowd, I saw my three children on their feet, clapping wildly, and cheering with enthusiasm. My oldest daughter screamed “That’s my momma!!” at the top of her lungs. I had done it! As a 43-year-old single mother of four, I had crossed the first hurdle towards a career in nursing. I knew that I was taking a step towards financial security, something that up until that point seemed like a fantasy. I knew that I would be able to help patients through some of the difficult moments of their lives. I knew that my life was about to move in directions that I had never dared to dream, but in that moment all that mattered were the expressions on the beautiful faces of my children. They were my “why” for all the studying and the tears and the stress and there they were, watching me succeed at something that I had been working so hard for. I felt like my heart might burst. These young people who are my world were proud of ME. That is a feeling that no award or graduation certificate can provide.
Was it worth it? Heck yes!! Was it challenging? Heck yes!! Was I crazy for accepting the challenge again when my PN school bestie asked me to apply for an LPN to RN bridge program with her in 2025? “Crazy” doesn’t begin to describe my actions. PN school was difficult enough, but now I am a private duty nurse working 60 hours a week. I have a 23-year-old son trying to make his way in the world and two very active, award-winning athletes for daughters, the oldest of which is a senior in highschool. Do I want to add full-time online student to my growing list of titles?? Sure!! What’s one more thing at thispoint, but this life is not for the faint of heart.
The “Why”
When I became a momma in 2001 my world flipped on its head. Suddenly I wasn’t the center of my world. My first child, Dylan was born with significant medical challenges and I had to step up to the plate very quickly, learning to do ileostomy bag changes and tube feedings and trach care, navigating insurance companies and specialist appointments, setting up a nursery that looked more like a hospital room than a baby’s room. Those were crazy days. Then came my son Devin 15 months later. Two in diapers on top of all thedemands of a special needs child. Then my daughter Tessa came along in 2007 followed by Tayler in 2012. My children grew up practically living in hospitals during all of Dylan’s hospital stays that often lasted months at a time. In 2017 their father and I separated. It was a very volatile situation. I was their safe space, their main source of stability. I had to be a stay-at-home mom to care for Dylan, so we struggled financially. My children were provided for, but fun things like trips to the movies or even a cheeseburger from McDonald’s didn’t exist in our world. The highlight of their month was when our food stamps would load for the month, I would take them all to the store and let them pick out one treat. They would spend the entire month planning what they were going to pick for their monthly treat. They knew that would be the only fun thing they would get until the next month rolled around, so they took that choice very seriously. Times were hard and then, in 2019 Dylan passed away unexpectedly from a hemorrhage at an old surgery site in his small intestine. My world was flipped on its head again. I knew I needed to find a way to provide for my children. I decided to persue a career in healthcare starting as a CNA and then going to PN school and my children became my “why”. I wanted to honor Dylan’s memory by using all the things I learned from him to care for others like him. I wanted to show my other three children that if you work hard you can start at the bottom and work your way to the top. I wanted to give them the life they deserved but had never been able to provide them with. So why did I choose the challenge of nursing school? Dylan, Devin, Tessa, and Tayler. That’s why.
The Stress
“Mom, can you get me to practice on Saturday?”
“Sure honey. I have a test to study for, but I can listen to lectures in the car while I wait.”
“Mom, coach wants me to start slap bunting. I need a bat with a bigger sweet spot. The one I want is $500. Can I get it?”
“Sure honey. I’ll see if I can pick up a few extra shifts.”
“Mom, I need to go on this college visit on Monday. I have to meet with the cross-country coach and that’s the only day he has available.”
“Ok honey. I have a test on Monday, but maybe I can find a quiet spot to take the test while you tour the campus.”
The scenarios are endless. Every day there is another situation that needs addressed, but no matter where I am in life, my children will always be my priority. Ultimately, that’s why I’m in nursing school. I want to provide a better life for my babies, but when it comes down to it, I won’t miss the moments I have with my children. I’ve learned that those days arenumbered and oh so precious. Sometimes I don’t have enough time to study for a test or respond to an email or attend an enrichment session because I must be at a cross-country race or a basketball game or a softball tournament, and THAT’S OK! I’m literally triaging my life, setting priorities, and offering myself grace when there just isn’t enough Trina to go around. For all you nursing student mommas, let me encourage you. There will be days when you feel like you have failed, when there aren’t enough hours in the day or dollars in the bank account or As on the transcript. In those moments, try and focus on the successes. Are your children happy and healthy? Is there a roof over their heads and food in their bellies? Do they know how much you love them? Don’t beat your self up when you think you have fallen short. Look at the big picture, at all the things that really matter and I know you will see that your successes far outweigh anything you may view as a “failure”.
The Fun
Now, I don’t know about you, but any time one of my instructors says something like, “I hope you find time to enjoy the weather this weekend,” I cringe. I’m thinking, “Are you kidding me? I just finished my clinical rotation, I’ve got a huge followup clinical assignment, two tests next week, and three assignments due on Sunday, not to mention all the practices and games I have to get my kids to!! I’m going to be lucky to sleep this weekend!!” We all know that self care is mandatory for your physical and mental health, but how does anyone find the time? I have learned to incorporate the fun into my everyday tasks. If I have to take a break from studying to take my daughter to softball practice we always stop for a “drinky drink” at Starbucks or Scooters, we sing and dance as we’re driving down the road, and we take the time to catch up on life. My girls and I attend church every Sunday that I don’t have clinicals with our family friends and usually go to lunch after. We laugh alot at the craziest things which is a huge stress reliever. I spend at least half of my free time at my girls sporting events which, lucky for me, is one of my favorite things in the world to do. Often times I’m doing assingments on my laptop in the stands, but you better believe I’m the loudest parent there when my kid hits the shot, crosses the finish line in a medaling position or makes a single handed double play. When you are a mom and a nursing student time can be limited, so it helps to find ways to have fun in the midst of the chaos. You may have to reexamine what fun looks like, but nursing school is a good time to simplify that definition and appreciate the joys that surround you that you may have been too preoccupied with extravigant fun appreciate.
It’s true. Being a mom and nursing student and maybe even a practicing nurse at the same time can be a challenge. Not everyone can handle such a demanding schedule, but mothers are tough. I’m sure your story isn’t exactly like mine, but there are many thingsthat most mothers have in common. We love hard. We sacrifice. We inspire others, so let that inspire you. You got this Momma!!
